How to get the conversation started
Be bold
Raising the topic of Power of Attorney is not easy, but it is the right decision.
When someone loses capacity, whether physically or mentally, a Power of Attorney document gives a trusted person the legal authority to look after their welfare and finances in their best interests.
Effectively, it is a safety net. Approach the discussion with confidence. To help with this, research the subject thoroughly in advance.
You can read more about the details in our helpful Power of Attorney articles.
Talk to other relatives first
Before you approach your parents or elderly relative, speak to other family members first.
Talking through your ideas for Power of Attorney can help you uncover different perspectives, highlight the main benefits, and practise what you want to say to your parents.
It can also help avoid the feeling that you are going behind their backs. The last thing you want is a full-blown family fall-out.
If you do face objections, it is worth pointing out that there is no limit to the number of attorneys someone can appoint, so siblings can be involved too.
Ideally, everyone should be on board. That makes your case much stronger, especially if your parents are resistant.
Make a plan
Know what you are going to say once you sit down with your parents. It is not enough to simply ask them to sign the right documents, especially if they have previously dismissed the idea or have unfounded fears about losing control and what Power of Attorney means for them.
Consider your approach and set out the following clearly:
- What Power of Attorney is
- The benefits
- The cost
You should also prepare for any questions or objections the person may have. Being ready with clear and reassuring answers will make your case much stronger.
Focus on the future
Once you finally sit down to have the big conversation, start gently.
Your aim is to build agreement, not to pressure someone into signing something they do not want to sign, which would also be illegal.
A good approach is to focus on the future. That is what Power of Attorney is really about: preparing for what happens if they lose physical or mental capacity. If there are grandchildren in the family, it may help to bring them into the conversation too, as they can help illustrate why planning ahead matters.
Explain that this document is more like an insurance policy. It is designed to protect them just in case something happens. As your research will have shown, attorneys can only act in the best interests of the person they are helping. They legally cannot benefit or advantage themselves.
Choose the right time
Obtaining Power of Attorney is an important and serious step. It requires focus and understanding, so it is probably not a topic to raise at a family barbecue or in the middle of a heated argument.
Work out the best time to sit down together and discuss the matter without distractions.
And do it as early as possible.
We know that anything can happen at any time. It is wise to start the conversation sooner rather than later, giving you and your family time to accept the need for Power of Attorney, understand what needs to be done, and explore every option.
Explain options openly
There are several types of Power of Attorney, and you should present all available options. This keeps everyone on the same page and helps the person who needs an attorney, known legally as the donor, feel that they are not being railroaded into a decision. They still retain control over what happens to them.
Your aim should be to involve your parents in the entire process. Be honest about what each type of Power of Attorney can do, along with the costs and benefits.
The two types of Power of Attorney are:
Ordinary Power of Attorney is a temporary measure, often used for short hospital stays or to let someone manage money and property while the donor is abroad.
Lasting Power of Attorney is an ongoing measure, allowing someone to act as either a Health and Welfare Power of Attorney, managing the donor’s care and day-to-day living, or a Property and Financial Power of Attorney, managing their estate.
Listen
You may have decided that now is the right time to obtain Power of Attorney for your loved ones. But do not let that stop you from listening. People generally do not like being told what to do or what to think, and often they simply want to talk things through, especially when the subject is this important.
Take time to hear them out. Understand their fears and concerns, and ease them where you can. See whether they have alternative ideas or raise issues you have not considered.
Power of Attorney should always be approached as a team process, so listen carefully to what they have to say.
Bring relevant information
One of the best ways to keep the conversation going, and to keep your loved one engaged, is to bring as much useful information as you can.
Guides and leaflets are a great place to start, along with a list of authoritative websites, such as those from national newspapers and the Government. Go through these together and, if they want time to think, leave the materials with them so they can look into the subject in their own time.
This can help them understand why Power of Attorney is important while allowing them to keep that all-important sense of autonomy.
If you have already found a solicitor, you could introduce them through their website. However, you may have more success choosing a legal adviser together.
The Law Superstore can help you find Power of Attorney solicitors near you. Just answer a couple of simple questions to compare legal experts tailored to your needs and budget.
