The journey from the registry office to the divorce solicitor’s office is rarely straightforward.
Some marriages break up because of a single dramatic event, like an affair, while other couples simply drift apart.
There are many causes of divorce, and many couples experience several at the same time.
While no fault divorce means you no longer need to list the reasons on your divorce petition, the problems couples face remain the same.
Here’s a look at some of the top reasons for divorce in the UK.
1. Drifted apart
One of the most common reasons for divorce is that a couple simply drift apart.
People change over time, sometimes to the point where they are no longer compatible with each other.
Children growing up and moving out of the family home can often be the point at which a couple feel the relationship is no longer working. With more free time and fewer responsibilities, children leaving home provides an opportunity for couples to reconnect on a personal level. But it can also intensify issues that had been swept under the carpet for the sake of maintaining a harmonious family life.
2. Lack of compatibility
We’ve all heard the saying that opposites attract. Romantic comedies depend on the idea.
Unfortunately, there is no evidence to suggest that it’s true. In fact, when it comes to maintaining a stable and healthy relationship, the more you have in common with your partner, the better. But this does not stop people who have little in common from getting married and, in many cases, eventually getting divorced.
Differences that were overlooked at the beginning of the relationship can become more obvious over time, particularly once the initial thrill of romance wears off. When this happens, a couple can suddenly find themselves married to someone who does not fulfil their needs.
Being stuck in an unfulfilling marriage is not easy. With divorce being more socially acceptable than in the past, it can seem like the more attractive option.
3. Money issues
We’ve seen the scene countless times in the movies.
A couple pore over their income and outgoings, trying desperately to find a way to make ends meet. Before long, they are arguing and thrusting divorce papers into each other’s faces.
The cliché exists for a reason: money problems are one of the main reasons why marriages break down. From being in debt to not having enough money to cover the bills, financial pressure can put a lot of strain on a marriage.
However, it is not always money problems themselves that lead to divorce. Couples with a strong bond can weather a lot of hardship. Rather, money issues become a problem when couples have different ideas about what to do with money, including how it should be spent and saved.
For example, one partner may prioritise putting money aside each month for a rainy day. The other may be more inclined to spend that money on leisure activities, such as going to restaurants and pubs. This may not be much of a problem when a couple has financial stability. But if the couple experiences a downturn in their financial fortunes, the difference in values can become more obvious.
That’s why money issues so often lead to divorce: when the going gets tough, a couple may find that they have less in common than they thought.
4. Infidelity
Unsurprisingly, infidelity is a common cause of divorce.
Whether it is a one-night stand or an affair, an unfaithful spouse can cause deep hurt to their partner and to the marriage itself. While some couples can get past it, many cannot. That is why adultery used to be one of the five grounds for divorce you could use to prove that your marriage had irretrievably broken down.
5. A lack of intimacy
Petitioners for divorce often complain about a lack of intimacy with their partner. This may be because they feel they are not getting enough sex, or because there are problems in the bedroom. But it could also be down to a lack of emotional closeness and affectionate physical contact, such as hugging and holding hands.
A lack of intimacy often means there is something seriously wrong with the relationship. It can leave couples feeling that they are more like friends than romantic partners. Couples therapy can help spouses better appreciate their partner’s needs. Unfortunately, when the spark goes out of a relationship, it often does not come back.
6. Poor communication
Couples who decide to call it quits often say, “We can’t communicate.” This can include a variety of issues, from constant arguing, to avoiding difficult conversations, to outright lying.
Effective communication is essential to maintaining a healthy marriage. Without it, problems will usually develop.
Having an open dialogue with your partner allows you to navigate the many stresses of married life, from paying a mortgage and raising children to dealing with the loss of loved ones and other personal problems.
When communication breaks down, problems can quickly spiral out of control and feelings of resentment can grow.
For example, you may feel betrayed by your partner for not being there for you during a personal crisis. Or you may get into arguments where you say hurtful things to each other.
In some cases, couples are able to work on their communication problems and develop a healthy relationship once again. However, poor communication is often caused by deeper issues that the couple is unable to address, such as falling out of love.
7. Abuse
Abuse in a marriage can take many forms, including:
- Physical abuse, where a partner physically hurts their partner
- Emotional abuse, where a partner uses controlling behaviour and threats to harm their partner’s well-being
- Financial abuse, where a partner uses money to restrict their partner’s freedom
People will often seek a divorce when they are no longer able to put up with the abuse, provided they feel safe enough to do so.
Before the introduction of no fault divorce, any type of abuse could be used as proof that a marriage had broken down on the ground of unreasonable behaviour.
Talk to a divorce solicitor
There are many reasons why you might want to get divorced. You should not stay in a relationship that you do not want to be in. But getting divorced is a big step that can significantly affect your life.
If you’re thinking about getting divorced, you should talk to a divorce solicitor for advice and support.
